Total Drama: Battle of the Sexes
by MissyTrancy
Summary: New Season, after years of being cancelled. A whole new main cast but the originals and other will appear in the aftermath of the show. Heather and Alejandro will be the hosts. AND THE SEASON WILL BE DUDES AGAINST CHICKS. Next update will have to wait Oh Hiatus until my hurt wrist has healed...
1. Back For another season

**Author's Note: To See what the characters truly looked like, you can look at the links on my page. The 'season' SHOULD begin this coming up weekend or sometime next week. **

Chapter 1

The phone rang. Heather TRIED to ignore it, but it just continued to ring and ring and ring. She HAD to answer it.

"WHAT?!" he angry, piercing banshee sounding scream echoed through the phone.

"Uh, OW," it was none other than Chris McClean on the other end. Of course it was. It would have been either him or her on again off again boyfriend, Alejandro. Well, there was also times when she spoke with Cody; the little twerpy freak was the only person who'd actually LISTEN to her problems. The other two men would normally need a favor which she would ALWAYS turn down, well, most of the time when it comes to Alejandro. "RUDE."

"Good bye," Heather growled as she was ready to hand up the phone.

"HEY, HOLD UP," Chris shouted, hoping that she would listen. "I'VE GOT A GREAT DEAL FOR YOU!"

"A deal? Like, a money deal?" Heather mused.

"Uh, DUH," Chris said. "What GREAT deal doesn't involve money?"

"True," Heather nodded, hating that she had an opinion that was even SLIGHTLY similar to something Chris had.

"So, listen, Total Drama has been renewed for a come back," Chris sounded ecstatic as he spoke.

"So, after YEARS of it being cancelled, your begging FINALLY crushed their nerves and they gave in?" Heather laughed.

"How it happened is of NO importance," Chris was not amused by her assumptions. That was because she was right and he didn't want to admit it. "Anyway," Chris continued.

"If you're asking me to be a part of your little season, I refuse," Heather told him straight off the back. "I am NOT going to be cheated out of the prize money again."

"What? NO!" Chris exclaimed. "I need a FRESH AND YOUNG cast, not ones that are OLD AND OVER-USED."

"Who do you think you're calling old and over-used?" Heather growled, having a strong urge to rip out the man's tongue.

"That doesn't matter," Chris brushed it away. "What I was going to ask you had to do with an AFTERMATH."

"Aftermath?" Heather questioned, slightly curious on where the egotistic jerk was going.

"My, uh, employers said an after math would be a good addition to have in this reboot or whatever you want to call it. They told me that this way, while we're having a whole new cast, the aftermath could actually help keep up with the old ones too," Chris explain. "And since, for some reason, I can't get ahold of the, uh, MORE LIKEABLE members of you old people, I thought to ask you."

"So it's a daily pay?" Heather wasn't asking. She had to MAKE SURE that she was getting money for ANYTHING she would even think to be working for.

"Sure," Chris snickered. He was never good at lying.

"Fine," Heather knew where he was going with that snicker of his, but she was too greedy to care. "On one condition."

"That is?" Chris asked.

"I get to help you in choosing the contestants," Heather said. Moments went by before Chris was practically forced to allow her to help. "See you later then?"

"Fine," Chris whimpered, in disbelief that he lost the argument.

A month after the information about the new season was brought onto the whole world, Heather arrived at Chris's little 'getaway' cabin that he was using to observe the auditions that were sent to him. She had brought Alejandro along for the ride, although she didn't know why she allowed the latino to come along in the first place.

"Why'd you bring that?" Chris asked, annoyed that he now had to deal with TWO princesses.

"Why do you keep that?" Heather retorted, point over to Chef who was nibbling on a chicken leg as he sat in a corner.

"HEY!" Chef threw a spatula at Heather, who managed to barely dodge the fast flying object. He then threw one of his shoes at her after she sighed in relief of not being hit. The shoe hit her square in the face and it caused all three men to laugh at her agony.

"OH SHUT UP!" Heather screamed after recovering from the impact. "Let's just start, shall we?" after Alejandro and Chris refused to stop laughing, she punched them right in the eye.

"MY FACE!" Alejandro screamed, crying over his now blackened eye.

"Party pooper," Chris muttered, he then went over and opened the first file of auditions.

After several hours, they came across a video of two ebony-skinned brothers named Hale and Jude. It started off showing only their heads.

_"Hello," Hale smiled at the camera. Jude kept a frown on his face and began to 'fix' his hair. "My names Hale," he bashfully brushed his hand across his long, pointed chin. "This one over here with the fuzz on his chin is my little brother, Jude."_

_"Fuzz?" Jude seemed offended by the word. "I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW, MOMMA SAID THAT THIS SO-CALLED FUZZ SHOWED THAT I WAS THE EPITOME OF MANLINESS!" _

_"JUDIE! COME DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!" a deep voice called off-screen._

_"In a moment mother," Jude spoke. "I've got something important that I'm doing!" _

_"BOY IF YOU DON'T GET DOWN HERE NOW, I WILL END YOU!" the voice got even louder. Jude stood up to walk away, showing his childish, color-clashing shirt with rainbow colored sleeves. _

_"Have fun, bro," Hale laughed awkwardly as he cheered fortune onto his brother. _

_"Shut up," Jude snapped. He knocked over the camera as he walked by it. _

_"JUUUUUUUDE!" Hale whined. "You could have broken my camera!" the screen went black after those words._

"They were pathetic," Heather muttered in response to the video.

"Next," Alejandro yawned.

"They are so in," Chris and Chef were laughing at the two.

"Seriously those are the first people you choose?" Heather looked disgusted. "THEM?"

"Yep," Chris gave no other answer. "Now onward."

Several videos later, it was Bernadette's time to shine.

_The video focused on an empty school hallway. A young, tall, heavy-set female with black hair and tight, skimpy dark clothes jumped onto screen. "HI CHRIS! My name is Bernadette," She shouted and then went into a fit of laughter. "You know, I've always thought you were super amazing!"_

"She's in," Chris said, already feeling like this girl was going to be one of his favorites.

"So, there's no need to watch the rest of the video then, is there?" Alejandro went to the next video.

_The next video focused on a girl almost cloaked in pink. "Why am I doing this again?" the girl asked the camera man. "I don't even want on this shit hole of a show."_

_"Come on, big sis," it sounded like a little boy. "You're interesting enough to actually make it into a show like this!" _

_"And you're obviously not," the pink one said. _

_"Please, Lyra do this for me," the boy cried._

_"Why in the HELL would I want to do anything for you, huh Twerp?" Lyra spat. "You're just a waste of space wasting my time. Do you know what I should be doing right now?" _

_"What?" the boy was obviously fearful of the answer._

_"I should be ripping your brainless little head off and feeding it to the cannibal in the closet," she girl had a terrifying look of cruelty on her face. _

_"You wouldn't," the boy stuttered, believing her. _

_"I won't if you turn that stupid thing off," Lyra mused, obviously enjoying her victory over manipulating her brother. The screen went to black right after she let out a cackling laugh._

"She's in," all four people spoke in monotone.

The next contestant that had made the cut was a young male named Ace.

_"Sup losers!" the boy came into view by doing tricks on a skateboard. "Skateboarding's the game and Ace is the name of this sexy guy you're currently looking' at." he laughed. He had an heavy Bronx accent, which did not fit his looks all to much. "I'm probably the best thing that has EVER happened to you. Trust me." He stopped jumping around on his skateboard. "You'll definitely get HOT ratings with a HOT guy like me on the show. Check ya lates, alligates," he winked at the camera right before the screen went off._

Heather had gone into hysteric laughter, claiming to boy to be delusional and idiotic. "We've GOT to get him in the show," she said. "Can you IMAGINE how much crap he'd get himself into?"

"True," Alejandro agreed, chuckling at the idea of seeing this fool get beaten up by SOMETHING or SOMEONE.

The next contestant that achieved a pass was a young and short, but curvy asian female that goes by Vexie.

_She was relaxing in a hot tub while wearing a very risqué bathing suit. "Hello all you dear, attractive people watching this video. Especially YOU, Chris," she winked and tapped the screen of the camera. "I'm Vexie," she giggled. "Generous, lovely, and very appealing to the eye, don't you think?" _

"Yes," the boys unconsciously replied as they gawked at the girl's image.

_"I know you do," Vexie said. "That's why I KNOW you're going to let me be a part of this whole thing. Who wouldn't?" she blew a kiss right before the screen went back. _

"She's a good choice," Alejandro said. "We should add her."

"Boys," Heather rolled her eyes.

Ironically, Heather couldn't take her eyes off of the next contestant to make it.

_blue eyes stared dead into the camera as a masculine british-accented voice echoed through the screen and into Heather's ears. "Hello, I'm Valentine," he said and the camera panned out to reveal a tall and tanned boy with messy, dark chin length hair. "And I believe this is all you need." the camera quickly went black. _

"He passes," Heather said, the other three didn't DARE oppose her as they saw the intense look in her eyes.

The next video was that of the young, shy Lavinia.

_"I CAN'T! I DON'T LIKE BEING ON CAMERA! MAKE IT GO AWAY! I CHANGE ME MIND ABOUT BEING ON THE SHOW!" Lavinia cried, tears streaming down her face as she was running away from the camera. The WHOLE two-minute video lasted like this until it finally went black._

"So she's in right?" Heather would love to watch such an easy target struggle with everything.

"Yep," Chris was thinking the same thing.

The next contestant was June.

_"Okay, so this was a dare or whatever," June muttered at the very beginning. "So, I'm auditioning for the show, obviously. Now add some blah blah blah and we're done." the screen focused closer to his face. "GET THAT CAMERA OUT OF MY FACE!" the boy ended up throwing a temper tantrum for a while before the camera man turned of the camera. _

"Yep," Chris said and put him down.

The next video was of Margerie.

_"So the camera is on now, right?" Margerie asked, revealing that she had a graceful southern tone to her voice. The person confirmed that the camera was indeed on. "Okay," the girl took in a deep breath. "Hi! My name is Margerie, although most people call me Bambi. I've recently got dumped and..."_

_"_BORING!" all four said and they were very near to skipping the video.

_"Don't you DARE skip my video!" the girl snapped, as if she was able to see them. "Look, I've seen all of the past seasons of total drama to the point I know exactly what you would do if a girl just started talk about her normal relationship problems. I do know I sound boring, but just hear me out. I NEED to be on this show. I NEED to shine and I NEED to make that cheating jerk face pay for humiliating me by dumping me out in public for my stupid, trampy best friend. THEY BOTH NEED TO PAY!" Bambi had started to cry. "Please give me this chance to show them. PLEASE!" _

"I sorta, kinda feel bad for this chick," Heather was shocked at her own words.

"And at least she's talking about REVENGE," Chris muttered. "So yeah, I think it would be safe to give her a chance at this."

"I guess," Heather, although pitying the girl, was skeptical. "Let's let her in."

"She's also not too sour on the eyes," Alejandro said.

_As the video continued to roll, the ceiling fan somehow fell from off of the ceiling and onto Bambi's head; but Bambi gave no reaction what so ever. The camera person, however, began to freak out and asked if Margerie was okay. "I'm fine," Bambi stopped crying. "Why do you ask? DId something happen?" the screen went black._

"How in the," the four of them were speechless.

"So, yeah, she's in," Chris said.

The next video was of Karen.

_The video started with a woman showing her karate moves and her military skills. "Karen here," she said after displaying her abilities. "Please allow me to take part. I am very positive that I am your true victor!" the screen went black. _

"Seems interesting enough," Chris put her on the passed list.

The next video seemed to be of a baby-faced boy who dyed his hair green.

_"Hi," the boy shined his innocent looking eyes; one blue and the other green. "I'm mostly referred to as Tikker," he told them. "I think I was given that nickname because of my habit of going off into random violent fits."_

_"You should tell them why you'd be a good addition on the show," the camera man told._

_"You mean like why they shouldn't reject me?" TIkker asked. "Well, if I am rejected." the green haired boy's face turned into a twisted grin that screamed evil. "I will hunt you down, rip out your heart and eat it." the screen went black. _

"I'm pretty sure I don't want that to happen to me so I'm going to put his name down," Chris stuttered.

"Yeah," Heather didn't know what to say.

The next video was of Adora.

_"I'm telling you, that bird wants to eat me," Adora whimpered as she stared at a pigeon. "Look at it glaring me down with those blood craving eyes." Adora looked toward the camera. "Are you filming this?" she seem distraught. "NO! Turn that off! That could be signaling off to Aliens that I'm a feist ready to be cooked and served."_

_"You may be tall, Adora, but you're too skinny to even be a side dish," the camera person laughed at the girl. _

_"THIS IS NO JOKE! Turn it off!" Adora exclaimed, lunging at the camera person to turn of the camera. _

_"You are so paranoid about EVERYTHING, you know that?" the camera person laughed. "I'm definitely turning this into total drama. You'd be a hoot for McClean." the screen went black._

_"_A hoot is right," was all Chris had to say.

"We need just one more person, right?" Heather sighed as she asked.

Hours went by and there was NO ONE that they found was interesting enough. People were just so plain. But then Cyrus came onto the screen.

_A boy sat on a large bed in a dark room and played his flute. Everything but him, the flute and the bed were unable to be seen. He played several creepy children's songs throughout the entire video._

Heather and the boys had several intense shivers go along their spines. "Dear God," she muttered. "Creepy to a T."

_After several songs, the boy put down his flute and looked directly at the camera. "Trust me when I say this," his voice was a heavy british accent; far heavier than that Valentine. "But you're going to want me on this season because I will define drama in Total Drama." and after that, the boy turned of the camera and the screen went black. _

"So, that's are final contestant, isn't it," Chris stuttered.

"I think so," Heather said as she wrapped her arms around Alejandro as if to say 'protect me'.


	2. Episode 1- Girls Vs Boys

**Author's Note: Okay, so this should be my last author's note for this series, but I just wanted to make sure that, Alejandro and Heather's aftermath will appear after every TWO eliminations. There will also be guest appearances my several other contestants when it becomes the final five. Also, I will also put up a poll when it comes down to the final two. Now, I do hope you guys like this story. Also, this WILL be a weekly updated story; I will post every Tuesday. I'm going to do it this was so I won't have to rush through it all too much. **

Episode 1 - Girls Vs. Boys

The time for the contestants to arrive has arrived. "Alright, FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO," one of the interns yelled to instruct Chris it was time to start the show.

"Welcome back!" Chris exclaimed once the cameras began to roll. Chef stood in silence beside him. "Yes, it's true, After five years Chris McClean FINALLY back! You can applaud now," he gave a short pause and pretended to listen to the audience's applause. "On this whole new season of Total Drama, it'll be a boys against girls in _unique_," Chris let out a tiny chuckle. "set of games based on popular beach events you'd normally play at the beach yourself." the screen zoomed out for a short period of time to show that Chris was indeed on a beach. "And this will be all done with a set of all new cast members the should be here any moment."

At that very moment, a loud honk echoed through the air, causing Chris and his interns to look and see a large, well crafted SHIP coming their way. "Hey, wait a second," Chris frowned. "That isn't the BOAT I sent for them!" he exclaimed once the ship had arrived. "Seriously, why's this here?"

"Because I wasn't going to ride on a that tacky little _raft_," Vexie announced as she was the first to step off of the boat. "I'm Vexie, by the way." she said as she looked towards one of the camera's. "I'm known to be flirt," she giggled and winked right before she walked off to stand further back on the beach so she could wait for the other characters to come off of the boat.

"HEY! I'm the one who introduces you guys!" Chris yelled. "DON'T ever do that again."

Lyra was the next one to walk off of the boat. "I'm Lyra, a proud and loud foul-mouthed brat." the girl grinned, knowing it would piss the host off.

"Stop that!" Chris began to grind his teeth in anger.

"Valentine," Valentine decided to introduce himself next. "I can be a bit of a womanizer.

"STOP!" Chris began to glow red in the face.

**The Screen cuts to Vexie's Confession;**

"Is it alright if I call dibs on being the first to touch his abs?" Vexie asked as she sat in shack filled with several beach equipment. "Because I'm doing just that. I'm calling dibs RIGHT NOW. Also, did anyone else almost faint listening to his accent. GOTTA LOVE THAT BRITISH ACCENT."

**The screen returns to the beach where Jude and Hale were now walking off the ship;**

"This my brother, Jude," Hale said. "He's a bit of a momma's boy."

"I AM NOT," Jude snapped as he decided to retaliate by introducing Hale. "That guy is Hale, a college dropout."

"No, no, no, no, no," Chris' eyebrow began to twitch.

"Hello, I'm Margerie," Bambi was the next to walk off of the ship. "But most people call me Bambi. Here's a warning though, I'm kind of accident prone."

"Oh come on!" Chris cried. "I"m supposed to be doing this!"

"Lavinia is the name," the next contestant stuttered as she walked off the ship, keeping her eyes down. "I'm hoping to become famous."

Chris couldn't even get his words out now, he was that angry; Chef had begun to snicker and enjoy that Chris was NOT enjoying this.

"Tikker is what you can call me," Tikker said with a smile. "That's all you really should know. My mother always told me to never tell strangers too much about yourself; you never know when those said strangers are actually very dangerous and could use certain information against you."

**The screen cuts to Bambi's confession;**

"Oh my gosh, guys!" Bambi cooed. "Does anyone else see how ADORABLE this little guy is? He's like two inches shorter than me; that would mean he was around five feet and one inch." the girl giggled. "I just want to give the little big-eyed cutie a hug!"

**The screen cuts to Lyra's confession;**

"Something's up with that guy, I can FEEL it in my bones," Lyra said as she brushed her pink hair back behind her shoulder. "He's totally NOT what he seems."

**The screen cuts to Tikker's confession; **

"OF course, when my mother told me that stuff about strangers, I was talking to this new student at my school," Tikker said. "I am fairly certain she was trying to tell the kid not to talk to me." the green-haired boy sighed. "I really shouldn't have told her I wanted him to become my new guest in my fun-house of horrors. The kid did get the hint, unfortunately, because he ran away when he saw my collection of, um, uh, RUSTY, knives. Yeah, I'm pretty sure the red stuff was rust."

**The screen cuts back to the beach as Adora was being forced out of the ship by Karen; **

"No!" Adora screamed, holding onto the ship. "If my feet touch that ground, it would be like submitting myself to become a victim of these disgusting games Mr. McClean had made. HE WANTS TO KILL US! Please, just let me go back home, Karen. I don't want to die by the hands of this old guy!"

"Old?" Chris wheezed in the shock. "OLD!?"

"Adora, stop being a paranoid freak and let go!" Karen growled.

"Why don't you stop acting like a such a tough jerk face just to impress your daddy and let me be!" Adora snapped back, but she immediately regretted what she had said. "I'm so sorry!" Adora cried, feeling like she had done the worst thing possible.

"GO OVER THERE!" Karen demanded and Adora, although reluctant, obeyed in an effort to be forgiven.

Ace decided to try to impress everyone by grinding his skateboard against the rim of the ship. "Finally, the guy you've all been waiting for!" he cheered as he made a perfect landing. "It's Ace here and all you hotties out there watching, my number is *BLEEP*, and you ALL have permission to call me! Well, you know, if you're hot."

**The screen cuts to Vexie's confession;**

"If that guy damaged my mother's vacation boat with his little stunt right now," Vexie looked terrified. "She'd be so heart-broken! I couldn't deal with that! That ship is half of my mother's heart and I couldn't live with myself if I was the reason that half got broken." Vexie was obviously distraught over the thought. "Oh, PLEASE let the ship be okay!"

**The screen cut back to the beach where Vexie had run back onto the ship and was now making sure that it was alright while June was walking off;**

"Hey," June nodded towards the camera. "I'm June. I read." he walked off to where the other contestants were.

"THE BOAT IS OKAY!" Vexie cheered, doing a victory dance as she started to walk back off of the ship. "THANK THE HEAVENS!" she stood beside Lyra.

The next person to walk off was Cyrus. "Chris," he greeted the fuming host. "What, I thought you were going to introduce me?" the steam flew out of Chris ears and his face flushed back to his normal shade of skin as he opened his mouth to introduce the boy; but that was soon cut short. "I guess you just don't feel like it do you? Fine then, I'll introduce myself. I'm Cyrus," he turned towards the camera. "I'm a fantasy fanatic."

"OKAY!" Chris shouted "THAT. IS. IT." he turned towards the contestants. "YOU DO NOT GET TO INTRODUCE YOURSELVES! YOU DON'T GET TO CHOOSE HOW YOU ARE INTRODUCED! THAT IS MY JOB! MINE! I AM THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED TO DO THE INTRODUCTIONS FROM NOW ON! DO. YOU. UNDERSTAND ME? DO YOU?" Chris had lost it.

"Um," Chris felt a light tap on his shoulder.

Chris, still infuriated by the other contestants, turned around with a malicious look on his face as Bernadette came into view. "WHAT?!" he snapped.

Bernadette was un-phased by his angry breakdown. "Well, I haven't had an introduction yet. It would be an honor for me if you'd be the one to introduce me."

"Well," Chris calmed down, now feeling a bit like a donkey for snapping at the bright eyed chubby female. "This is Bernadette," the host turned towards the others. "also known as MY FAVORITE!" he stretched out each letter in the word 'favorite' to make sure that everyone knew how UNhappy Chris was with them.

"Oh, shut up and explain what we're supposed to do now, turd-face," Lyra snapped, giving the host a glare.

"Do NOT tell me what to do!" Chris growled.

"But, what are we going to do now," Bernadette asked. "I am the last contestant."

"Well, I'll tell you," Chris said. "There will be two teams, Masculine Mice and Feminine Fireflies."

"So a battle of the sexes?" Lyra grunted. "Well, that's new."

"Shut up," Chris told her. "The first challenge the teams will face is much like those of the previous seasons; a race to see who gets the better cottage."

"Well, shocker there," Jude muttered, obviously being sarcastic.

"SHUT UP!" Chris demanded. "This race will NOT involve everyone, but only three from each team. I will be picking the participants."

"What? Why do you get to choose the participants?" Ace cried. "Shouldn't we be the ones to choose. We are the ones competing."

"Well, you WOULD have if you had LET ME DO THE INTRODUCTIONS!" Chris told him. "But NO, you all had to do it YOUR way. Well now I'm doing this MY way."

"Jerk," almost everyone muttered under their breath. Lyra's words were a bit more colorful than just that one little word.

**The screen cuts to Lyra's confession;**

Lyra glared at the camera. "If that Scrooge thinks that his ugly ass face is gonna get us just by changing shit up, he's got another thing coming'. I plan on WINNING this thing and all of these losers are gonna sink all the way to Atlantis."

**The screen cuts to Cyrus' confession;**

"Well now," Cyrus held a huge smirk on his face. "This really IS going to be a lot of fun. I'm obviously going to be the villain of this season; TRUST ME. Everyone here is going to fall like the twin towers during 9-11."

**The screen cuts to Tikker's confession;**

"Maybe I can catch some fish for dinner," Tikker muttered. "Then I can shove the bones down the throat of whoever looses this first challenge. Like anyone would miss them if they died."

**The screen cuts back to the beach where Chris is explaining the race;**

"Alright, so you guys see those sand-made stairs over there leading to the giant sand castle?" Chris pointed to what he was talking about. "The first pair of participants will need to go up the stairs grab their own little totem and come back down and run to THAT area over there," the screen panned over towards a small trampoline. " that is where the first participant will give the second participant the totem and the second participant will Jump on that to grab the rope," the screen panned up to show a not-so well kept rope. "Swing from that rope into the water," the screen panned over to the water. "Then give the the totem to the third participant and they will use a surf board to ride over to the finish line." the screen zoomed in to show the finish line which was far into the ocean. "Also, warning for the third participants; there ARE obstacles for you." as Chris said that, Fang had popped out of the water like a dolphin. "Last thing, if you end up dropping the totem at any point in the challenge, you WILL have to start your section of the race all over again."

"So, is there a prize for the winning team?" Lyra asked.

"The winning team of this challenge will be allowed to stay in the bigger cabin until the merge," Cris told her. "While the others will have to vote a contestant on their team off.

**The Screen cuts to Adora's confession;**

"OH, PLEASE LET OUR TEAM LOSE!" Adora exclaimed.

**The screen cuts back to where Chris is about to choose the participants for this race; **

"The first round will be Jude and Lyra," Chris began. "The second will be Adora and June. And the third will be Vexie and Ace."

**The screen cuts to Adora's confession;**

"IS HE TRYING TO KILL ME?" Adora cried.

**The screen cuts back and the race begins;**

Jude immediately starts to run towards the sand castle while Lyra ends up walking as if there was no rush for her to get the totem.

"YES!" Jude laughed once he snatched up his totem; he then began to go back down the stairs only to accidentally stepped on a secret trap that had the whole castle collapse on him.

"At least I don't have to go up those lame ass stairs," Lyra muttered, easily spotting her own totem in the pile of sand. "Take this, dimwit," she said as she approached Adora.

"But the rope, I can't," Adora cried. "I'll die. The rope will break and I will fall to my death."

"The only way you'll end up dying is if you DON'T go up that rope and help win this; because I will personally gut you," Lyra snapped as she shoved the totem into Adora's hands. The girl in pink then stomped off to where the non participating team members were.

At this time, Jude had dug his way out of the sand and reached June. "Did you know our names are REALLY familiar?" Jude said as he gave the totem to the skinny boy.

"Did you know I don't like you?" June retorted. "And that you really should never mention that again? Because you shouldn't."

"Rude," Jude muttered; he then noticed Adora trying to muster up the courage to get up on the rope. "What's up with you?" Jude asked as he approached the young female.

"I can't do it," Adora was literally crying at this point. "I've got a fear of heights."

"Really? So does my brother," Jude snickered.

As the began to talk, June began to climb jump up to the rope and start to get a good swing.

"Well, try thinking of what good you could do if you actually won the million," Jude said. "Maybe that could help you get the courage."

"The good I could Do?" Adora muttered.

**The screen cuts off to Adora's confession**

"My sister does need help with her college tuition. Not to mention my Nana needs hospital care all the time. Oh my! I could use the money to help them! Why didn't I ever think of that?" Adora took to realization.

**The screen cuts back to the beach where Adora easily jumps to the rope and gains perfect momentum to jump.**

June managed to reach Ace right before Adora had managed to get to Vexie.

"I am on it!" Ace jumped into the water with the surf board.

"Here you go!" Adora announced as she hand Vexie the totem.

"Thanks Sweetie," Vexie called back as she started after Ace.

"Fun, ain't it?" Ace laughed as Vexie nearly caught up with him.

"I am mad at you so I would appreciate it if you wouldn't talk to me right now," Vexie told him.

"What'd I do?" Ace asked.

"You risked damaging my vacation boat," Vexie said.

"I'm pretty sure that was a ship," Ace said.

"That is beside the point," Vexie huffed. "You still haven't apologized."

"I'm, uh, sorry," Ace said. "I didn't mean any harm."

"Thank you," Vexie said with a nod. "I forgive you." at that moment, a large wave appeared.

"IN COMING," Ace said with excitement, preparing to ride he wave.

"Oh no," Vexie was not as prepared as him; she was easily knocked over and under the water.

"WOO!" Ace hadn't even realized that Vexie went under as he was too preoccupied with having fun.

Vexie kept a tight hold on the totem as she rose to the surface of the water. "My board is gone," she whined, knowing that she would now have to swim the rest of the way. "Thank goodness I'm a good swimmer."

She soon heard a cough to her right which caused her to have her attention given towards that direction; she was then face to face with. "Hello there!"

Fang was confused as to why Vexie wasn't actually screaming like the rest of his victims; she actually seemed HAPPY to see him. "What's a handsome shark like you doing working for a nasty guy like Chris?"

The screen panned over to Chris for a moment to show his expression. "I'm pretty sure she just said something bad about me."

**The screen cuts to Vexie's confession;**

"I've always adored animals," Vexie said. "especially the dangerous ones."

**The Screen cuts back to the ocean where Vexie was still talking with Fang.**

"Okay, Listen Cutie," she playfully tapped the Fang's snout; the shark was still incredibly confused yet he was also very flattered. "I really need to finish this race, so," Vexie was about to ask for Fang's assistance but was cut off by the siren going off.

"IT LOOKS LIKE THE BOYS ARE VICTORIOUS!" Chris announces as the screen pans over to show that Ace had crossed the finish line with his totem in hand.

"YES!" Ace cheered.

"Man," Vexie muttered, brought down by the loss. Fang placed one of his mutated hands on her shoulder as if he was comforting her. "Thanks honey," she felt grateful.

Ace continued to dance on his surf board until he slipped and landed into the water. "Aw, dang," he muttered. "Total fail." He felt someone poke his shoulder. "Ye-," his words stopped once he realized it was Fang. "I don't think this is gonna end well for me is it?" Fang shook his head in a negative fashion.

**The screen cuts to Vexie's confession;**

"At first I was pretty depressed over losing," Vexie said with a huge grin on her face. "But then my new little buddy decided to avenge my loss and I was just so flattered." the screen zoomed out to show that Fang was sitting right beside her and the two the high fived with one another.

**The Screen cuts to the girls now sitting on beach chairs while Chris holds a bag of beach balls that have his face plastered onto them. The boys were sitting on the bleachers to see who gets sent home.**

"When I hand you one of these, that means you are safe," Chris said. "Bernadette, Bambi, Lavinia, Karen, and Lyra," he gave each of the five girls a beach ball. "I now only have one ball left," Chris announced, causing the women to burst out laughing. "SHUT UP! THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT!" Chris realized his own wording mistake. "Who ever doesn't get this last BEACH ball will be sent home via fish-hook of failure. The screen panned up to show a helicopter with a giant fish-hook tied to the bottom of it with a long rope.

"Oh no," Vexie gulped, not liking the looks of that thing when the girls managed to see it.

"Now, Adora," Chris said.

"YES," Adora squealed with fright.

"You took an awfully long time to get onto that rope," Chris told her. "And frankly, I don't like you. Either of you. And Vexie, you just down right lost, didn't you?"

"Only because you don't like playing fair," Vexie defended herself.

"No, no I don't," Chris took pride in his sly ways. "Anyway, tonight the person who will be sent away will be," Chris took a long pause to examine the look in both of the bottom two's faces. "Vexie! Catch!" Chris said as he threw the flirt the last beach ball. "Adora, I'm sorry but you'll be the one to go leave tonight."

"I'm so sorry Nana," Adora sniffled as she was then yanked from her seat.

"Well, no real loss tonight," Chris muttered. "I mean seriously, who wants to deal with THAT?"

"Hurry up and close this will you?" Chef began to rush Chris.

"Oh fine," Chris muttered. "Will Fang actually HELP one of the contestants this season? Who is the true villain of this show? Will I still be in favor of Bernadette? Most likely is the answer to that last one, but tune in NEXT TIME on TOTAL...DRAMA...BATTLE OF THE SEXES."


	3. Episode 2- Bad to the Beach Balls

**Episode 2: Bad The Volley Balls**

Last time on Total Drama you were introduced to the new cast and learned that they were competing against one another in a battle of Girls Vs. Boys. The boys won the Bigger and better cabin thanks to skater boy Ace and the girls had to send off one of their own on the first day; That happened to be the insanely paranoid Adora. but even before she went home, the other one who was at risk of being home, Vexie, had ended up teaming up with none other than the vicious shark named Fang. Will it work out or will she end up becoming his snack? Continue on to find out.

"That was MY bed, you skank!" Karen's scream echoed through the small cabin as she was attempting to force none other than Lyra out of her current spot.

"I got here first, you un-loved loser," Lyra scoffed, obviously expressing the low opinion she had of the military brat.

"Listen here, Madame Barbie," Karen began to snap, but was cut off.

"Barbie? Did you seriously just compare me to a fake, plastic slut?" Lyra's eyes widened and were inflamed in rage. "I'm as much a stupid, brainless Barbie as you are a happy-go-lucky baby bunny."

"Sure, let yourself believe that," Karen laughed into the other angry female's face.

"Yeah, keep laughing," Lyra smiled. "You won't be here for long."

"What? You think you'll get me kicked off?" Karen snorted, enjoying how 'delusional' Lyra was. "I'd like to see you try."

"Are you two EVER going to quiet down?" Vexie whined, getting tired of hearing the girl's arguing.

**The screen cuts to Vexie's confessional;**

"Those two have been at it for HOURS now," Vexie informed the audience. "Seriously, I may be the only one who HASN'T managed to block them out since all the other girl found away to sleep, but I've never been good with blocking things out." Vexie sighed. "I may end up going insane here."

**The Screen cuts to Vexie leaving the cabin after the other two refused to dial down their argument;**

"This is why I don't have very many friends that are girls," Vexie sighed to herself as she snuck into the boys cabin.

"Hello," She whispered, seeing if anyone might be walking around. "Anyone? No? Okay," she stumbled across a hallway with seven large doors. "These are totally the bedrooms," she muttered. "Maybe one of them wouldn't mind letting me stay the night? Really though, who could leave a poor, lovely girl like me to suffer at the hands of the other violent-mouthed roommates?" she muttered to herself for a little moments longer to figure out with door she should choose.

Eventually, the girl decided to just put her blind faith in chance and just chose out of a pure random gut-feeling of sorts. "Hello there," Valentine was the one who answered.

**The screen cuts to Vexie's confessional; **

"OH YES PLEASE," the short girl let out a high-pitched and very loud squeal of excitement.

**The screen cuts back to the cabin right after Vexie had informed Valentine of her predicament;**

"It must be hell living there, isn't it?" Valentine took pity on the girl.

"Very much so," Vexie cried.

Valentine quickly gave into Vexie cry for help without putting into a fight.

**The screen cuts to Valentine's confessional;**

"She was cute, how could I say no?" Valentine admitted. "Besides, now she owes me. I can use her to keep me and my team in the lead." he added, a malevolent glare glimmered in his eyes. "Tell me, how many times do you see an alliance form between two members that are on OPPOSITE teams? Especially when both members are on the ATTRACTIVE side. Power of persuasion is a thing that comes naturally to people like us."

**The screen cuts off to the island and the sunlight revealed that it was morning;**

"Contestants down to the beach, A.S.A.P.!" Chris voice boomed through a speaker.

"Thanks for letting me stay over," Vexie whispered over to Valentine once they both had reached the beach.

"No problem, Lovely one," Valentine responded with his casual smirk as he kissed the top of her hand.

"Aw, you're just so sweet," Vexie couldn't withhold the smile that wanted to surface; she didn't really put up much of a fight against it in the first place though.

"Good morning!" Chris Laughed once he saw everyone had arrived; this caused Lyra to throw a shoe at Chris and it hit him square in the face. "OW!" he yelled and soon held up the shoe, which seemed more like a boot. "Who's is this?"

"Um, sorry," Bambi came forward and slowly walked up to grab her shoe.

"I don't think so," Chris held the show out of the girls reach. "You're going to be doing today's challenge with ONE shoe; maybe that'll teach you not to throw shoes at people."

"But I didn't throw it!" Bambi cried, wanting her shoe back.

"That's not important," Chris told her. "It's still YOUR shoe."

"Please!" Bambi began to beg; the sand itself felt burning out from the rays of the sun.

"Fine, you can have it on one condition," Chris seemed to have given in to the begging.

"Okay," Bambi took in a breath.

"That condition is," Chris coughed. "You have to go and FIND it."

"What? But it's right there," Bambi pointed.

"CHEF!" Chris summoned his not-so-faithful right hand man. "Hide this somewhere."

Chef nodded, grabbed the shoe and threw it off into the ocean.

**Screen cuts to Bambi's confession; **

"This isn't fair! I haven't done anything WRONG," Bambi whimpered as she ball curled her body together to cry. "That jerk."

**Screen cuts back to the beach where Bambi had ran towards the direction of the shoe and Chris had begun to explain the challenge;**

"The challenge today is Volley ball," Chris smirked. "I'm guessing you all like that game right?"

"WOO!" most of the members said; all but two characters seemed to enjoy the idea of playing volley ball.

"You can shove your Volley balls right up your tiny little butt," Lyra spat, folding her arms.

"This game was never something I was very good at," Tikker announced. "Can we play something else?" his eyed seemed to have grown bigger and he looked like he was on the verge of tears.

"You can, uh, sit this one out," Chris muttered, somehow it didn't feel right to force this certain individual to play.

"Thank you oh so very much!" Tikker exclaimed, seeming to be extremely overjoyed. Lyra glared at the boy as he rejoiced. "Something the matter, Pretty lady?" TIkker had asked once he saw her glaring.

"You're quite good at acting, aren't you?" Lyra muttered, still glaring directly at him.

"I take great pride in my acting skills, thank you," Tikker admitted and for a short moment, Lyra saw an evil gleam in the boy's eye.

**Screen cuts to Lyra's confession;**

"OKAY NOW LISTEN," Lyra demanded. "I may not be a NICE person, but you know what? That doesn't make me a villain. In fact, I'm pretty sure the villains of this season are all dudes and Karen. I'm sorry, but not really, but miss military brat is totally one of those types to take out her pain off on others because she feels neglected." she analyzed. "I do it because people need to toughen up their act and get their shit together because I don't want to lose this. And yeah, I was the one who hit Chris with that chick's shoe. I'm not hiding it."

**Screen cuts back to the beach and every one was standing on small individual rafts with the exception of Tikker who got the chance to stand out of the challenge and Bambi who was still looking for the shoe;**

"Now, here are the rules!" Chris spoke through the speakers. "The target is to stay on the rafts and keep the ball up in the air as well. if the ball lands in the water on the side of one team, a point will go to the other team. If any member of the team falls off of their rafts, they are OUT of the game. whoever reaches twenty points is the winner; however, their is also the chance that their will be only one remaining person still standing on his or her raft before anyone is able to get to twenty. If that happens, the team which that person belongs to is the winner and the losing team will be sent to vote off one of their members," Chris finished his explaining the rules and goals of the game. "BEGIN!"

The girls started the game of with Karen being the server; Ace easily returned it with a spike.

"POINT ONE GOES TO THE BOYS!" Chris called out.

"SHUT UP OLD MAN!" Lyra growled, throwing her own shoe at him this time.

"YOU ARE DISQUALIFIED FOR THIS CHALLENGE! GET OFF," Chris screamed with his face steaming from rage.

"Ooh, I'm oh so HURT," Lyra rolled her eyes at the host as she stepped off of the raft and went to sit beside Tikker.

"Glad to have some company," Tikker giggled as the two began to watch the teams hit the ball back and forth to one another.

"Don't act all sweet with me, shit-toad," Lyra hissed. "I know you're a scoundrel deep down."

"My mother told me that scoundrel was a under-doing it when people call me names," Tikker admitted. "I don't think she approves of my experiments very much."

"Experiments?" Lyra grow intrigued. "On what?"

"Depends, it's usually my older brother," Tikker told her. "He's got eternal pimples now. It's quite funny." Lyra held back her laughter as she heard him describe the different types of violent experiments he has committed. Most of the things he mentioned were VERY illegal.

"Come on girls! We've got to kick it up a notch!" Vexie attempted to cheer her team on.

"Have you guys tried to hit it OVERhanded? Or with BOTH hands?" Jude called over to the girls to give them some advice.

"Why are you trying to help the ENEMY?" Chris cried through the speaker. "HELPING THE ENEMY IS NOT PERMITTED! One point is deducted from the guy's team."

"Seriously?" Valentine exclaimed and the boys glared at Jude.

"Sorry," Jude stuttered, not knowing that this would have been what was to come out of being kind to the women. "But you'll get over it."

"Not cool," Hale muttered and shook his head in disapprovement.

"I personally think it WAS cool, Karen said as she had just returned the ball with full force, causing it to collide with Jude's face, knocking him off and having the ball fall into the water. "LOSERS!" she cackled, finally able to serve the ball again.

**The screen cuts off to Jude's confession;**

"Is that girl for real?" Jude exclaimed in anger. "I just gave her and the rest of her team some pointers so they could do a bit better and she thanks me by smacking the ball right into my face? OH COME ON!"

**The screen cuts back to the beach where the boys had seventeen points while the girls only managed to get ten. The girls were now only Vexie and Karen and the guys that were still standing were; Valentine, Ace, and Hale. Bernadette was given a towel to dry off by Chef. **

"We can't let them get any more points, girl," Vexie said; she had been saying since the beginning of the match.

"WE KNOW," Karen growled at her.

"HEY, DUMBASS," Lyra called from the side lines over to Karen. "YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO THE ASIAN FEMALE BESIDE YOU. HELL, LET HER SERVE!"

"I am NOT letting her serve!" Karen spat back. "I am the better server!"

"How would you know, you haven't even let me serve. Not even ONCE," Vexie pouted, folding her arms to express how offended she was at the moment.

"Look at your arms, they are NOT athlete material," Karen 'observed.

"WATCH OUT!" Vexie squealed as Karen was then hit with the beach ball. "Oh no."

"Aw, well, she's finally down for the count," Valentine sighed in relief. "Did not enjoy that one all too much."

Chris busted out in laughter while Karen managed to bring herself back onto the shore. "That was a funny one! Two points for the guys for that one!"

"No fair!" Vexie cried. "You jerk!"

**The screen cuts to Vexie's confession;**

"Why do I have to be the final girl? WHY?" Vexie's tear ran down her face like the rapid waves of a waterfall.

**The screen cuts back to the beach where Ace had the ball and served it to the remaining female;**

Vexie had managed to hit the ball but her foot had slipped; she had began to fall off of the raft. "NO!" Her scream peirced the air as she was near the water. As she was falling, Valentine slapped the ball back into her direction. she, along with the rest of her team, awaited for her body to clash into the water with closed eyes. But something had ended up holding her up.

"Is that even fair?" Ace gasped, causing all of the girls to open their eyes to see Valentine in the water and Fang right behind Vexie with his mutant hand holding her onto the raft.

"Fang!" Vexie gasped, delighted to see her shark-friend. "Aren't you just such a dear little thing!"

"Seriously, is that allowed?" Ace repeated, wanting this to be against the rules.

"Why not?" Chris shrugged, finding the whole situation entertaining. "I will allow it."

"YES!" Vexie cheered as she served the ball. "Here you go!" Hale returned the ball.

Fang quickly smacked the ball, causing it to slam against Hale and knocking him over, along with giving Vexie one more point. Now the girls had thirteen points.

"Okay," Vexie laughed, as she prepared to serve the ball. "Ready," she began, only to be cut off by an aggravated shout by none of than Bambi herself.

"WHERE IS IT!?" Bambi's voice echoed. "It's got to be somewhere!"

"Oh, that poor girl," Vexie muttered. "Hey Fang," she turned to her aquatic ally. "I think I can handle this guy." she motioned towards Ace. "So, could you find the shoe that the frail deer is looking for?" she gave a detail of what Bambi's shoe looked like.

**The screen cut to where Bambi was looking for her shoe. It had many different slippery slopes and long, pointed rocks;**

"Dear lord," Bambi sighed, completely drenched. "Could it have been washed away for good?" she then felt a tap on her shoulder. "Yes?" she turned around to be face to face with her shoe. "Oh thank the gods of all that's grand in this world!" she embraced her shoe. "Thank you..." she began, as she looked up and saw Fang. "Oh, you're a shark." she blinked, slightly dumbfounded over seeing a mutated shark. "You're name is?" The shark pointed to his teeth. "Teeth?" the shark shook his head in a way to answer 'no'. "Chompers?" the shark said no. "Oh, um, is it Fang?" the shark grinned. "What a fitting name."

Fang's eyes went wide with confusion as the area around the two began to shake; they became even wider when the young female's head was hit with a giant bolder; she didn't even flinch and that caused the shark's mouth to fall open. His mouth quickly shot back to being shut once the boulder had legitimately bounced off of the girl's head and landed on Fang's tail fin.

**The screen cut back to where Vexie and Ace were still battling each other; Vexie now had seventeen points while Ace had nineteen;**

Ace missed the ball; that gave Vexie a total of eighteen points by this point.

"Oh yes!" Vexie cheered.

"Man," Ace was fearful of the girl winning the match; and that's when they all heard it. That deep scream of pain. "What was that?" Ace questioned, completely engulfed with curiosity.

"Gotcha," Vexie smirked, not as easily side-tracked; she took this very moment as an advantage and served the ball. Ace was quickly knocked into the water.

"No!" Ace cried, realizing the foolish mistake he had just made.

**The screen cut to Bambi and a crying Fang sitting back a the beach hut and away from the beach;**

"I know that must have hurt a ton," Bambi, ended up having to bandage the shark's tail. "but it'll get better, I promise."

Fang was distraught over the pain, but he was also still in shock when he saw the small girl in front of him lift the entire boulder off of his tail.

"Well, I finished," Bambi said. The two hear a bell ring. "Oh my, I missed the whole challenge!" Bambi gasped. "I must go, and you must get back to the water!" Bambi grabbed the shark by his fin-hand and pulled him back to where the two had met. "This is where we must part, kind carnivore!" Bambi saluted to the shark.

**The screen cuts to Ace's confession;**

"I can't believe I got us to lose!" Ace exclaimed, obviously distraught. "How could I let the team down like that? I suck!" he placed his face onto the palm of his hands. "I'm so getting eliminated."

**the screen cuts to the elimination area, where all the guys were now seated;**

Ace looked defeated and depressed when he realized he was truly part of the bottom two; along with Jude.

"Jude," Chris said. "You're here for giving the girls some verbal aid to the girls when they were on a losing streak." he turned to Ace. "Ace, you're in trouble for not being good enough to win against one girl."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Ace sighed. "Get on with it."

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" Chris yelled, although it didn't faze any of the boys that were there. "Now, the one that being eliminated tonight is," Chris moved his finger. "Ace, would you please stand up," he began.

"I knew it," Ace cried.

"I WASN'T FINISHED," Chris yelled once again, irritated with Ace putting in his commentary while Chris was doing his host duties. "Ace, stand up and CATCH!" Chris threw him the last beach ball that Chris was holding. "Jude, you're out."

"NO!" Jude cried. "This can't be right! I-" Jude was cut off in mid sentence as the hook took him came down and yanked him off to god knows where.

"Well, that's it for this week," Chris said. "How do Jude and Adora feel about being the first two people to be eliminated? How will Heather and Alejandro deal with being the new hosts to the aftermath? Are Bridgette and Geoff going to let the two villain, ugh, _couple_, get away with stealing their spot as aftermath hosts? Find out NEXT TIME," Chris said as he signed off.


End file.
